The Adventures of 3:11 and Scratch
by GFYB
Summary: Doli and Doc have some adventures
1. Explaining Crap

UPDATE

Due to some strife, yes, I realize these two are played quite out of character considering this would never happen, but this entire story is based from a multitude of crack-RPs I've enjoyed with a Doc Scratch RPer.

As it says on my profile: 'expect diasspointmenmt', here I'm going to have to ask you to expect to rage a bit at some of the future content.

This is practically a series of short stories and drabbles based around a version of rule 63 Dave and a Humanstuck Doc Scratch.

What happens is, Doli (the female Dave that will be portrayed in this mini-series) has been recruited to The Felt to replace 3 (Trace) and 11 (Matchsticks) because of her skill and mainly just those two because of the color of her eyes which is reasonably close in comparison to their respective colors.

Now, she wears the felt suit and all with one red armband with the number 3 on it and then another white armband with a red stripe in the middle with an 11 on it. Both are on her left forearm.

Aside from that, her hair is in a bun, Doli isn't the name on her birth certificate, it will be revealed in later chapters as soon as I fine a reasonably comical way to reveal it.

And now to talk more about Doc.

He's a smoker.

Yes.

Even as a human, his skin is that of his original Homestuck cue-bally self. His eyes are the color of the felt uniform. His hair matches his skin and the like.

Blurblurblur.

Do you even lift?

Anyways...

Enjoy  
THE ADVENTURES OF 3:11 AND SCRATCH


	2. What If's

Not that she had done anything remotely related to what she was about to say, but if there was a chance it may bring an arch to his brow, a color to his cheeks or a parabola to his fine lips, it was worth it for the chance of getting even the most basic of facial expressions from him aside from his casual blank slate gaze.

Making her way down a long flight of bright and irritating (to the sense of sight and the legs) flight of spiraling stairs, after the she accomplished the most tedious of tasks, she thoughtlessly took a comforting seat at the edge of her boss' desk.

"Doc."

"Ma'am?"

Her presence acknowledged by a puff of carbon dioxide, burned leaves and various other singed substances which between the two had become tradition early on.

"What if I told you I broke your favorite clock?"

Letting his extraterrestrialish pale lids meet each other over each optic for a brief moment before two near glowing green daggers set target for the young shroud-eyed woman by his side, he abruptly ended the silence answering Doli's question with yet another question.

"What if I told you that being borderline albino and possessing freckles made you a dirty cue ball?"

And there was silence once more. Of course until the officer began to muse again.

"All in all, I'd say I've broken a fine clock myself. Would you not agree?"

For a second the belle from the south was alarmed. His monotonic behavior and voice for all that matter never one to jest.

And would he really break a clock?

"You br-..."

Her alarm faded immediately as she got the well played yet godawful euphemism.

"Really?"

"Indeed, Miss Strider. Indeed."


	3. Dicks

Darling Shroud-Eye leaned against the wall opposite of her Dearest Scratch pouting ever so slightly what with them being parted on either side of the room. That and the casual silences spent with him were far too deadly for much anyone to withstand but too intense to allow much any free movement less it be of the male opposite Miss Doli.

While the silence restricted most any movement, it kept the thoughts reeling constantly less one be deafened by their own heart beat.

Speaking of thoughts, though she adored the man to a poi-

TO A POINT

We all understand 'to a point', right?

Okay, good.

She had to admit, he could be a bit much at times. Just a little shit that happened to be in charge.

Anyhow, being a naturally defiant young woman, she spoke out breaking Doc's traditional silence.

"Hey, Doc. You ever consider a name change?"

The male opened his eyes, his gaze going from bottom to top over the distant, feminine form.

"For what reason? I assure you that Doc Scratch is the most fitting name I could possible acquire at this moment in time. However, if you do so insist, I am open to hearing your ideas."

He was more loquacious than usual showing that past his expressionless facade, he was probably just as bothered as anyone else who had found it within them to suffer such a discomforting atmosphere.

"Tell me, Miss Strider. What did you have in mind?"

She sighed softly and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Dick Scratch."

"Dick Scratch? But dear, you perform such wondrous feats in the bedroom, despite your age, that I've never been even remotely tempted to do such a thing. What would cause you to conjure such a thought?"

And as one would be, by this point, Alice was quite done and rested her hand upon the center of her visage not sure if she should laugh or attempt and fail at punching this man in the face.

Neither were suitable and there was silence once more.

The End.


	4. Dicks 2

It started as a normal day.

And would continue to be a normal day for all that matter.

Now I know after reading the rest of the story, you'll probably scroll back up here to make sure it says 'normal day'.

It does.

And that's okay.

Scroll up all you want.

No one will judge because they'll be busy scrolling after you.

Going on with the story now…

_Knock knock…_

Spending more time with such a fine gentleman was taking its toll on dearest Alice. She had taken up the act of knocking and right after she did, she entered.

"Have we not learned from last time? Knocking is key."

Closing the door behind her with a raised brow.

"I knocked and entered-"

"Excuse me dear for the interruption, but you waited a total of two seconds. Who's to say I wasn't naked? Knocking, **along with patience**, is key my dear."

Doli's lips pursed in a bit of a pout as she crossed her arms and took a seat in one of many embroidered armchairs in her midst.

"Doc. You're a dick. I'm looking at you. A dick. What different would it make if you were naked?"

"Well if I were naked, you would see two dicks, hoo hoo~"

"No, I think I'd just see inception cock."

"You would enjoy the site of both."

And then there was silence.

The End.


End file.
